


A lonely morning

by Capuchou



Series: Fanfic of fanfic [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Loneliness, M/M, Morning After
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 18:32:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8500675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capuchou/pseuds/Capuchou
Summary: Magnus wakes up alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language ! I try my best to correct all my horrible mistakes but let me know if you spot some ;)

Magnus doesn't want to wake up. He already knows. If he opens his eyes he will have to face the truth.

He's alone, Alec left.

And he really, really, doesn't want to face that.

He can feels the emptiness of the bed next to him. The warmth that had guided him to sleep isn't here anymore.

But he has to wake up. He has to open his eyes and go on with the day.

Or he could stay in bed all day, maybe get up to empty a few bottles to forget how he beautifully messed up, again.

But it wouldn't work. It never works.

So he opens his eyes. 

The room is full of the light of a beautiful day, the first of a new months, a day full of promises of what is to come. 

But he doesn't feel that.

It takes him a moment but he sits down at the edge of the bed, carefully, without turning to the other side where the sheets are now cold.

He doesn't need to look. He knows.

He takes a deep breath, prepares to get up and endure the day.

And it strikes him. The room is quiet, really quiet. Too quiet.

He only hears his breathing which is becoming louder and baster by seconds.

And the dreadful feeling of loneliness, of emptiness.

He needs to get out. He needs to breathe.

He think of leaving the house right now but reconsiders it and forces himself to at least take a shower.

The hot water will maybe warm his broken heart.

It doesn't. 

The feeling of suffocating is still here.

 

– -  


 

He doesn't know where he's going. He just drives.

He needs to get out, to breathe.

He can't breathe. He has more air here than he have ever had but he can't breathe. 

And he needs to get out of this house. Everything reminds him of Alec, everywhere he looks Alec has been.

He can't stop the memories to come. Alec standing in front of him, looking at him with adoration and desire, Alec kissing him, pushing him against the wall. His kisses, his touchs,his hands in his hair...

And the feeling.

The feeling that it was right, it was natural, it was where he was meant to be, where he belongs. 

In Alec's arms.

Then the emptiness of the bed.

Magnus feels the tears coming. He tries to breathe.  

_Just breathe. In. Out. Breathe._

It doesn't really work.

So he stops the car on the roadside and lets out. He bursts into tears. He lets the sobs come and the water fall on his cheeks.

Eventually he calms down. His eyes have no more to give.

So he restarts the car and continues his way. He still hasn't a clue where he is going. But will stop soon or later. 

He will find a nice place where he will finally breathe and make order in his thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this after chapter 3 of Bright Lights, Small Town by Lecrit (if you haven't read it I don't understand why you are still here, go read it NOW !).
> 
> The idea of Magnus waking up alone and how he will react remained stuck with me for days so I cracked and wrote it. I cut a lot of it to make a more common version which could work not only for BLST.
> 
> This is the first time I write something like that so I'm really curious to know what you've thought of it !
> 
> You can also find me on twitter: @capucinedrawing
> 
> Love,
> 
> Capucine


End file.
